MY DAUGHTER WILL NOT CONTRIBUTE TO THE HOME Q&A. Irish Daily Star – Money Doctor column 7th September 2023

Q. My daughter is 25 years old and has a good job – enough to own her own car and go out every weekend. She never helps with the housework – her room is a mess but she also never gives me any money to help with the running costs of the home. She is my only child and while I am separated I have full time employment too. What do you advise me to do ? Anne – Wexford

A. More adult children are living with their families than at any time in the past 60 years, so Anne you do need to lay down some financial expectations for those boomerang children – they went away but through lack of money are forced back – or those children who are simply comfortable in their cost-free homes. All these “children” need a reality check. While I am sure you do not want to see your daughter leave, it may be the best for you both. Tell her the truth about the house finances – her food alone is a weekly cost. Laundry, telecoms and all the usual utility costs all add up. You could compare budgets. If she was in “digs” or living with a bunch of girls, she could expect to pay at least € 750 per month just for the basics before food…this includes TV license, bin charges, gas and electricity etc. with food, the bill would be over € 1,000. So I would think the minimum contribution to her hard-working mum should be € 500 per month and a really nice present at Christmas and your birthday from her too ! You know what the alternative is if she baulks …stick to your ground.

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